Autumn Morning Self Talk
Some days when we can hear that it is raining outside and the weather is predicted to be grim, it’s tempting to roll over and hit the snooze button. Nobody is perfect, definitely not me and replacing my exercise and cold shower routine with more time under the covers is something I’ve talked myself into without much internal argument more than once!
You are probably not surprised that the science suggests this won’t make us feel any better. A bit of a myth bust to start with. If you have heard that pressing the snooze button is really bad for your sleep, it’s worth knowing that the jury is still out scientifically speaking about whether the snooze button is actually as bad for us as we used to think. However, what I think is more problematic is what we don’t do when we squish up our morning routine by pulling the covers over our heads, groaning and telling ourselves it’s going to be one of those days…
When it is not bright and sunny, or you don’t have an exciting day ahead, it’s tempting to have a slightly different morning routine – to take it slower, to ‘reward’ yourself. Sometimes this reward leads us to skip parts of our routine that we perhaps don’t look forward to but do us the most good.
For example, out one of the key things that scientists have found are a no brainer for sleeping well at night and a positive outlook – morning sunlight. The fabulous neuroscientist and coach Dr Iain Price and I covered the power of taking a bit of time outside at the start of the day early on in The 52 Project that we started in lockdown and in our follow up book DOSE. You can watch it back or read a blog with all the science here.
For me, in the summer when I am looking at a blue sky, the sea is sparkling and the air is warm, my brain literally sings with excitement about having my morning cold water swim in the North Sea. However when the mist settles in, it’s cold and grey, it can be a real effort. But bizarrely, what I have noticed is that these grim swims are some of the best for my head! I feel much more invincible and up for the world when I have battled the elements and been one a few die hard swimmers! I feel quite proud of myself, without noticing, my self-talk becomes pretty positive – “I’m the exception to the rule…everything is possible…”
That leads us to one of the most dangerous things that can creeps into mornings when the sun isn’t shining, and we don’t have interesting people to get up and have fun with. The reverse of that – negative self-talk. I have noticed for sure that is more in danger of derailing my day than the weather if I don’t take notice and don’t take quick control. When I press snooze, wake up a bit later than normal, in bleary eyed autopilot and it’s too late to get outside, that’s when I’m in danger. “You are tired…you are getting old.”
There was a brilliant study that I share with clients that helps us understand just how powerful our self-talk is when we’re not feeling great. Researchers split a group into two They got one group to write down things they had achieved in the past weeks that they were proud of. The second group were instead asked to imagine they’d done something awful. And it was really awful – they got them to imagine how they would feel if they had killed a child in a car accident.
What is interesting was that even though the awful thing wasn’t real, it had a huge impact on their ability to perform. They did a series of IQ tests with both groups and found was that people that had imagined they’d done something awful, performed significantly less well.
The group feeling good or bad about themselves was shown to have implications on other things too. The researchers found that when left alone with sugary treats, the control group who were feeling pretty upbeat resisted the urge to overindulge, while the group that had imagined they had done something bad were less able to resist treats and sugary food. They ‘rewarded’ themselves to try to make themselves feel better – about something they hadn’t actually done!
Such is the power of our brains – we can simply imagine we are a ‘bad’ person. That small thought is enough to create a measurable impact in our performance and our willpower. Imagine the vicious circle that then ensues “I did awful on that test…I shouldn’t have eaten that cake…”
Sometimes on dark days we resist the very things that would do us the most good.
So, if you’re having a gloomy day today, that is absolutely the right day to try boost your thinking power by turning to some things that science proves is good for you, but perhaps you might put off unless it’s a ‘good day’. Try turning your shower cold at the end. Take 3 minutes to do some stretches and thinking about your breathing or go out and get some morning sunlight in the rain! Telling yourself that on a day where you could easily have stayed in bed, these are small achievements to be proud of could make all the difference to what happens next.
That’s why you might well find me on a beach in the mist and rain having a swim in the North Sea, or out with my massive rain mac on walking a dog after a cold shower. I’m not bonkers…I’ve just read a lot of science books and am in a daily fun battle with myself to be the exception to the rule!
I have found from personal practise if I get up and get on with my routine particularly when it’s not a gorgeous day outside, I have more small things to be proud of about myself and the day is better for that.
Some days are naturally beautiful, and some days are just a bit grim. Remembering we have the power to decide what to do with the low mood that might bring, if we notice our self-talk and take back the controls from our unhelpful autopilot isn’t easy – but it is worth it.
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